Never Say Goodbye
by TheRebelFlesh
Summary: After the breakup, Blaine is alone. The New Directions shun him and attack him every chance he gets, and Kurt won't answer his calls. Without the support of his friends, will he fall back on dangerous old habits or will someone save him from himself before it is to late? Will contain trigger later on (rated T for safety, nothing too graphic though) R & R please, first fanfic!
1. Chapter 1

Blaine woke up to the sound of his blaring alarm, and fumbled with clumsy fingers to hit the snooze button. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, the memories of the previous few days hit him like a ton of bricks. Tears prickled in his eyes as he remembered the wounded expression on Kurt's face when he told him...God, he couldn't believe himself. Why had he been so weak? Why couldn't he hold it together? Why was he so needy? Why had he been so lonely? Plenty of people were in long distance relationships and they made it work, why couldn't he have? He was pathetic, a cheating, scummy loser. His dad was right, he always had been. Not a good time to think about his dad, Blaine thought to himself, gently massaging the flowering bruise across his cheekbone (a gift from his father after coming home from New York with eyes red from crying). Mentally shaking himself, Blaine slowly got up out of bed. In the bathroom, he downed a few painkillers in an attempt to alleviate the headache pounding at his temples, tried to tame the unruly mass of curly hair (entirely to tired to bother with gel) and to cover up the already vivid bruises with some old coverup. Throwing on some old baggy sweatshirt and worn-in jeans (So unlike you, he chided to himself), he grabbed his bag and made his way out to the car, wondering what his "friends" would think of him today. Surely they had found out about the breakup, probably from Rachel and Santana. They would, of course, be beyond pissed-off, Blaine thought ruefully. But Kurt had been their friend first, he was obviously more important to them, and Blaine wasn't even sure if he could really consider them his friends. They still called him "Blaine Warbler" for God's sake, he wasn't even sure they knew his real last name. Well so be it, if they hate him, they hate him and there isn't really anything he could do about it. He was used to being alone, he'd been alone for a really long time, before Kurt, before the Warblers even. He'd manage, hopefully. He really needed to get going, he didn't have a very long time to get to school, and if he hit too much traffic during his god-awful commute to school, he'd surely be late.

As he pulled into the McKinley parking lot, Blaine tried to mentally prepare himself for the violent onslaught he was going to receive when he walked through the door.


	2. Chapter 2

He was met at the door with a resounding slap right to his already bruised cheek, ouch. Flinching, he opened his eyes and saw Tina, standing in the middle of the hallway and drawing quite a few curious looks, mouth working as if to start yelling at him, but no words came out. Frustrated by her inability to find the perfect words to tear Blaine down, she stormed off. Blaine let out a sigh, and started off to his locker, hoping not to run into any more of the New Directions on his way.

OoOoOoO

Arriving at his locker, Blaine pulled out his books, messily shoving them into his messenger bag (a present from Kurt, he thought sadly). Quickly checking his reflections in the small mirror to make sure the makeup wasn't smudged, Blaine slammed the door shut with a loud bang, and turned around to see all of the Glee guys making a circle around him. They stood their with their arms crossed, staring down at him with angry looks. God, even Jake and Ryder were there. What the hell were THEY doing? They hadn't even met Kurt, probably just here for some extra muscle. Keeping his head down, he attempted to push through the new crowd of people, and was stopped when Jake shoved him roughly into the lockers. Yep, definitely here for the muscle.

"What the HELL is your problem!", Artie shouted angrily.

Now they were just drawing a scene, Blaine thought ruefully. So dramatic. Maybe some teacher would intervene. Looking over the group, Blaine tried to read the look on Sam's face, the only one in the group that he could maybe consider a friend. They had gotten much closer since Kurt left for New York (Stop thinking about Kurt. You need to stop thinking about Kurt.), but the look on Sam's face was unreadable. Would Sam feel sorry for Blaine, would he understand why he had done what he had done? Sam had been the only one Blaine had really opened up to about his loneliness after Kurt left him behind. He silently hoped Sam would intervene, but no such luck. They just stood there, eyes blazing, yelling abuse at him. Calling him every derogatory name under the sun. Blaine just stood there, looking into Sam's eyes, hoping his maybe friend would see the pain in them. But Sam still just stood there, silent and stoic, not making a move to stop the others. Finally, when the other guys had exhausted themselves and drawn quite a crowd, Blaine angrily pushed through them, sulking off to homeroom (instead of meeting the Glee Club in the choir room). This day was going to suck.

OoOoOoO

Sam's POV

Sam watched Blaine walked down the hallway, shoulder slumped. Sam tore his eyes away from him, conflicted about how he should be feeling about this whole situation. Sam knew, of course, that Blaine had cheated. That was wrong. Cheating was wrong, and he knew that. But he had seen the wounded, hurt expression in Blaine's eyes as the others confronted him. How could he ignore it? He'd only seen Blaine look that defeated once, and he didn't think about that day much anymore. Sam lingered in the hallway a little longer, wondering if he should run after Blaine and give him a hug or something, but gave up and headed to the choir room for the morning meeting.

OoOoOoO

Everyone expect for Mr. Shue had arrived in the choir room when Sam got there. He made his way across the room to his usual seat near Tina and Brittany, leaving Blaine's seat open in case he miraculously decided to show up. After a questioning look from Tina, Sam quickly put his bag on the seat. The rest of the Glee Club chatted with each other for the next few minutes, but Sam kept thinking about Blaine and the look on his face. He was pulled out of his thoughts when Mr. Shue walked into the room.

"Anyone know where Blaine is?", Mr. Shue questioned the Glee Club.

He was meet by silence and angry looks like daggers directed towards him. Brow furrowed, he decided to push on with his questioning.

"Okay...anyone want to tell me what's going on?", asked worriedly.

Tina spoke up first, and angrily told Mr. Shue the whole story. About how she'd called Kurt for some clothing advice Sunday night, and gotten the news about the breakup from a crying Kurt. He'd told Tina everything, and Tina in turn told the rest of the Glee Club (even the new members, they needed to know too if they wanted to make Blaine's life a living hell for what he did to Kurt), and now she told Mr. Shue. About Blaine bringing him flowers and singing Teenage Dream at the NYADA bar. About how they'd taken a walk in the park, about how Blaine had ripped Kurt's heart out. About how Blaine had left early that morning without leaving a note. Sam tried to tune the story out, he didn't want to think about it, surely there had been a mistake somewhere. Blaine would never do that to Kurt.

Mr. Shue just stood there, dumfounded. He looked like he couldn't believe the story Tina was telling, well at least someone else might be on Blaine's side. In an attempt to recover the meeting and stop it from becoming a rant about Blaine session, he gave the kids their assignment for the week as the first period bell rang. Slowly, Sam made his way out of the room, giving Mr. Shue a knowing look. He would talk to him later. Speaking of talking, Sam would see Blaine in third period gym. There weren't any Glee kids in that class, so maybe he would get a chance to talk to Blaine then and find out what really happened.


	3. Chapter 3

**To Ilikerandomthingssodontjudgeme: Don't worry, the ND will come around. But things will probably get worse before they get better, but don't worry, there will be a happy ending :)**

First and second period passed quickly for Blaine. He hadn't payed attention at all, hadn't taken any notes in History, and hadn't turned in his Calculus homework because he obviously hadn't done it. Great, now his grades were slipping. He turned into the gym and made his way to the locker room, avoiding talking to anyone. He had a few other friends outside Glee Club, from his other clubs and classes, and avoided them as well. They looked at him curiously, wondering why he was dressed the way he was (his clothes were usually immaculate and perfectly put together) and why he wasn't talking (he was usually pretty energetic, even on Monday mornings). Shoving his bag roughly into his gym locker, he changed and made his way out to the gym, but was stopped by Sam.

"If your going to beat me up or yell at more or something Sam, can you just do it later.", Blaine mumbled quietly .

Silence. Blaine looked up and found an expression on Sam's face he hadn't expected. Not anger, but confusion.

"Look, dude, I'm not going to beat you up! What happened? Tina told everyone that you, like, cheated on Kurt, but I know that didn't happen. You'd never do that, you too were made for each other!", said Sam, putting a hand on Blaine's shoulder.

Blaine pushed Sam's hand off him and barked a short, bitter laugh.

"God, Sam you are such a moron. Tina was right, I cheated on him and he broke up with me, so just leave me alone.", he practically shouted, shoving Sam out of his way.

He didn't so much as acknowledge Sam's existence for the rest of the period. He ignored all of Sam's sad looks directed towards him, and made no move to apologize. Finally, when gym was over, Blaine dressed quickly, avoiding Sam's gaze.

The rest of the day passed by quickly, Blaine didn't pay attention in any other classes either. He decided to forgo even stopping by the choir room, too many sad memories and people who hated his guts. They had probably told Mr. Shue all about what happened, so he was sure he wasn't welcomed back. Blaine made his way back to the car, not remembering the last time he had gone home straight after school, especially alone. He arrived home, quickly made his way up to his room, and collapsed on his bed, grateful to fall into a blissful, dreamless sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I haven't updated in forever! I had a bit of writer's block. Most of this isn't really canon, so for the next chapter I think I'm going to go even further from the canon. I'll try to keep it in the same realm though! **

**_WARNING_****: This chapter gets a bit intense. Triggers for child abuse, bullying, self-harm, slight past drug and alcohol abuse, and descriptions of past non-graphic suicide. Nothing in the fic is very graphic, and I don't plan on making anything too graphic, but if you find any of these things triggering, you might not want to read. Be warned!**

* * *

He needed to find something to do. It had been days since he had returned from New York. Days since he had arrived back to school and was greeted by a slap from Tina and a huge fight with Sam. God, he hated himself even more because of that. Sam was just being himself, the sweet, caring, oblivious guy that had become Blaine's really close friend. But Blaine had screwed that up, just like he screwed up everything else. Sam probably hated him now, just like everyone else. He hadn't shown up to Glee Club at all this week, and he avoided the rest of the New Directions. They always gave him dirty looks when they got the chance. He didn't talk at school anymore, he usually just spent the day zoning out in class (his grades were obviously suffering) or listening to depressing music. His other friends seemed to get the message that he didn't want to talk, and frankly, Blaine didn't think they really cared. They were school friends, not real friends. After school, he went straight home, which was beginning to grow into a serious problem. His dad wasn't used to having him home so often, and he certainly didn't like him there. He had never admitted to anyone, not even Kurt, how abusive his father was. He'd always been able to avoid the worst of it. When he attended Dalton, he'd boarded there, preferring not to go home on the weekends like most of the other guys. But he'd been happy then, and he'd still had company there. When he was forced to go home during holidays, there had always been the odd family member in the house, so his father could never touch him for fear of being discovered. He even managed to avoid home during the summer by hanging out with the Warblers or getting a job. But then he had met Kurt in his second year at Dalton, and they'd become friends and then boyfriends. He'd made the change to McKinley, a difficult decision on his part. He'd have to live at home, he'd see his father more often. But it was totally worth it to be around Kurt. Things ended up turing out okay though. Blaine was always able to get out of the house. He'd stay after school for hours, practicing choreography and vocals for Glee or going to his Student Council and Debate meetings. If he didn't have anything school-related to do, he'd hang out at the Lima Bean or Between the Sheets with Kurt, Rachel, and Mercedes. He'd spend his weekends at the Hummel-Hudson house, watching football with Finn, Burt, and Sam while Kurt buried his face in a copy of Vogue. He loved to eat Carole's home cooking, since he never had that luxury at home. Even after Kurt and Finn had left for college, he'd still stop over every once in a while. As his friendship with Sam grew, he found himself there almost as frequently as he had when Kurt had been there. They would play video games and watch awesome superhero or sci-fi movies. They'd just have guy time, something he, regrettably, lacked with Kurt. He'd even hang out with Tina sometimes. They would watch classic movies and talk about fashion, the kind of things he missed doing with Kurt. But he had none of that now. Now he was stuck at home, to ashamed to go out to his old haunts for fear of seeing someone he knew. Staying home was definitely a problem. He heard the door slam downstairs and winced. No more leaving the room now, too risky. Even though he'd been rather brutally abused ever since coming out at fourteen, the beating still hurt in more ways than one. There was, of course, the physical pain. His father always made sure not to do too much damage, never anything that might require hospitalization, which would raise a lot of questions. But his father was a master at causing him pain without resorting to physical damage. The names he would call him. Fag. Freak. Disappointment. He heard them all the time, whenever he walked in the door. It was always worse when his father was drunk, that's usually when the physical beating occurred. But the names usually hurt more. He got them at his old school too. Everyday. None of the teachers seemed to care, and the students were unusually cruel. He lingered in a sort of depressed limbo. Not truly living, walking around everyday like a zombie. No friends to worry about him. All his friends had deserted him after he came out shortly before the start of freshman year. Anyone that might have been his friend was too afraid of being bullied. That's when he started cutting. He hadn't done it often at first, only when the pain became too much. When he got twin beatings from the kids at school and his father, when his mother sat watching his father scream abuse and never did anything, when Cooper didn't call even though he promised he would. Just a few cuts, nothing more, just enough to relieve the pain and make him feel better. But it got worse and worse. Soon it was happening every day. He needed more and more cuts to feel the sense of relief he'd felt in the beginning. But nobody cared, nobody noticed. His self-destructive behavior reached its peak after his beating after the Sadie Hawkins dance. He'd spent several weeks in the hospital for his more serious injuries, and was sent home later with a small bottle of painkillers for the headaches that often accompanied a concussion as serious as the one he'd received. He started abusing the pills, he started sneaking his parents booze, he needed five or six cuts to achieve the euphoria that one cut had given him months previous. He just wallowed in his own self-hatred. No one cared about his well being. Four months after the Sadie Hawkins encounter, you'd barely recognize him. He was a ghost of his former self. He'd lost a ton of weight, he had seemingly permanent dark circles under his dull, lifeless eyes, and he practically lived in long sleeve shirts to hide the angry, red marks on his arms. He never sang anymore, never played the piano or wrote music. He wanted to die, his life was so hopeless, so he gave up and tried to kill himself. He'd almost succeeded too. Cooper found him only minutes after he'd overdosed on some sleeping pills he'd found in his parent's bathroom. He'd wanted to surprise Blaine with a visit, his parents had told Cooper he'd been having a rough time. Cooper hadn't had any idea it was this bad. He called the ambulance, and they'd gotten there in time. He spent some time in the hospital, and then in a rehab facility after Cooper found out about the drugs and alcohol. He wanted to get better, he really did. Cooper helped out a lot, he made Blaine feel better, convinced him his life was worth living. Cooper was the one who convinced his parents to send Blaine to Dalton, where he'd be safe and happy even if it cost them more money. After he got out of rehab, Blaine started his freshman year over at Dalton. He was happy. He found new friends, got good grades, and started singing again. He brought the Warblers to a 4th place National title that year. He was popular with everyone, the Glee Club there was cool. Then he met Kurt, and life got even better. Even as a friend, Kurt brought an end to the lingering doubts about if his life was really worth living. Kurt was the most incredible, talented, compassionate, and caring person Blaine had ever met. He was the light of Blaine's life, his sun and stars. And Blaine had betrayed him. He'd hurt him so badly. Tears leaked down Blaine's face as the images from the god awful night flashed before his eyes. He was alone now, just like before. Alone with the world hating him and abusing him at every turn. Getting up slowly and painfully, Blaine crossed the room to his dresser. He removed all of the soft, warm cardigans and vintage t-shirts in the drawer, revealing a false bottom. He hadn't had the courage to clean out the drawer after returning from rehab. He'd been afraid that seeing all his old vices would push him back into their icy grips. He removed a small wooden box, and returned to his bed, where he sat cross-legged. Pulling out the few razors he still had, and laid out a small towel. His hand trembled slightly as he brought the razor to his forearm, a few inches above his wrist. Should he do this? It wouldn't really help him, he knew that. But he didn't know how to cope anymore. He brought the razor down quickly, making three short, shallow cuts. He watched the blood bead on the pale skin of his inner arm. Feeling satisfied, he wrapped the towel around his arm, and fell back on his bed, a tiny smile forming on his face for the first time in a long time.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please follow and review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**So this chapter takes a slight veer off from episode 3x14 "On My Way", nothing major but if you are unfamiliar with the episode and don't want any spoilers, don't read. If you enjoy the story, please review. Feel free to comment suggestions and idea.**

**WARNING: Again, very non-graphic talks of self-harm, suicide, and mild drug and alcohol abuse. **

**I don't own Glee, obviously.**

**BTW, Italics indicate a flashback! **

* * *

Blaine woke up the next morning to an angrily beeping alarm. Clumsily hitting the snooze button, he felt the familiar twinge in his arm. He looked down at his arm, which was wrapped in a towel. Shit. He barely remembered last night. He slowly peeled back the towel, revealing three shallow, horizontal lines cut into his skin. Despite their shallowness, they were a very angry red. He shook his head and choked back tears. He didn't want this to happen again. He didn't want to go back to his old life, he'd worked so hard to leave it behind. He hated doing this to himself, he wasn't going to let this happen again. He'd promised Kurt he'd never do it again. Stumbling into the bathroom, he took a took a quick shower and gingerly put a bandage on his arm. Closing the medicine cabinet, he caught a glimpse of his face. He had dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. His face seemed hollow somehow, his mouth was a thin line, and his hair was messy and could do with a brushing. He turned away angrily, and grabbed his bag and made his way out to the car.

Sam was on his way to homeroom when he saw Blaine. He looked absolutely terrible. He seemed exhausted, and his shoulders drooped noticeably. His face was just a blank mask. Sam watched from afar, unable to get to close. He couldn't bear to see him this way. Unlike the others, Sam couldn't just hate Blaine. God, Sam couldn't BELIEVE the rest of the New Directions. None of them had been this angry when Finn cheated on Rachel with Santana. Or when Mercedes cheated on Shane. Or even when Quinn cheated on Finn twice! What made this situation so different? Couldn't they see how awful Blaine looked right now, didn't they care at all about his well being? They all knew what Blaine had dealt with, what he had struggled through...

_It was a few days after the news of Karofsky's attempted suicide reached McKinley. People probably would've been sadder if it hadn't come out that he was gay too. Mr. Shue had called an emergency meeting in the theatre, probably to make sure everyone was dealing with the news okay. Sam had expected Kurt to be a wreck, something had happened between Kurt and Karofsky on Valentine's Day, but no one was really sure what. Sam was surprised to see Blaine looking absolutely exhausted, as if he hadn't slept very well in a while. When they all sat down in a circle, Sam noticed that Kurt was holding Blaine's hand pretty tightly. While Mr. Shue talked, the rest of the New Directions seemed to notice Blaine's odd behavior and looked pretty worried. After Mr. Shue finished talking, Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand tightly and shook his slightly. All eyes were on Blaine when he finally began nervously. _

_"I don't really know how to say this guys, but um.. I guess I'll try. A lot of you probably don't know much about what happened at my old school...before I went to Dalton. I, um, came out right before freshman year, and my friends just abandoned me. I was really alone, everyone at school hated me, and they tortured me on a daily basis. Called me names, shoved me around, that sort of thing. Things weren't really great at home either, my parents didn't take to well to me coming out. Things are a little...better...now with them, but...I was just really depressed. I, um, well I started self-harming. It wasn't so bad at first, but things got worse after we had this dance at school. I asked the only other gay guy I knew, just as a friend, you know. And, um, after the dance a bunch of these older guys, football players, confronted us after the dance. They started...pushing us around and stuff. I think they got bored that, and they started beating us really really badly. A teacher found the both of us not long after. The other guy, Tyler, got off lighter, but I was pretty bad. A lot of internal injuries and broken ribs and stuff, as well as a pretty serious concussion. I was actually in a coma for a few days. The guys that beat us up never even got in trouble, there weren't any security cameras around or any witnesses...so they just got away with it. After that, things got way worse for me. I, um, started drinking and there were the drugs...things were just so hopeless. I was just so...alone. So, um, a few months after the dance, I was just so done, so I tried to...to...kill myself. My brother found me, they got me to the hospital in time. I ended up in this rehab place, and they just helped me sort through all my issues. My brother helped a lot too. I guess you guys know the rest. I met Kurt, and now everything is just...incredible. I'm just so glad I didn't succeed...because then I would never have met Kurt or you guys, and I would never understand how happy I would be...", Blaine trailed off quietly._

_The whole Glee Club sat there stunned, even Mr. Shue. All the girls, even Santana, had tears in their eyes. The guys were just staring at the floor. Kurt had moved his hand to clutch Blaine's shoulder, and Blaine's hand had moved to sit on top of it. None of them had ever expected something like this to come out of Blaine. He had always been so confident in himself, so bold and he always seemed to know where he was going and what he wanted in life. None of them could have ever imagined that Blaine had been in such a dark place, with nobody to talk to, to call a true friends. _

_"Thanks for sharing that with us Blaine, it must have been really hard.", Mr. Shue said, placing a hand gently on Blaine's knee. _

_Blaine gave a small smile at the rest of the club, just happy to know that he had a whole group of friends who cared about him so much._

Sam winced painfully at the memory. He hated to think about Blaine like that, hated to think about how alone he had been in the past. Even worse, Sam hated thinking about what Blaine must be feeling like now. Blaine had had a taste of what love and friendship was like. He'd had his own little family in the Glee Club, a family much better than his own. But they'd all abandoned him after one stupid mistake. He knew that Blaine he obviously felt awful about what happened, it was written clear on his face. Maybe Sam didn't agree with what Blaine had done, and maybe he was a tiny bit mad at him for hurting Kurt. He knew there was more to the story even though Blaine refused to admit it. But, in that moment, Sam knew that he had to keep trying to help Blaine, no matter the cost, because he still cared about his best friend, even if the others did not.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I'll try to update ASAP, these chapters are actually coming pretty quickly and aren't a bad length.**


	6. Chapter 6

**So it's been awhile, huh? I just ended up really bored with this, and wasn't sure if I was going to continue. I got wrapped up in some other stuff I enjoyed writing more, and well...yeah. **

**So if you're interested in seeing more of this fic, please leave a review, and I'll try to keep updating.**

**TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of child abuse, discussions of suicide**

* * *

He couldn't take it anymore. Three weeks. Three weeks without Kurt. He tried calling Kurt, left countless voicemails. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. He tried to make Kurt understand he was sorry. Kurt needed to know how sorry he was, how much he regretted this, how much he wishes he could turn back time. It was stupid, it was a mistake. But he wasn't listening. Blaine tried calling Rachel, she didn't answer him either. He even tried Santana and Finn. Nothing. Nobody cared about him, not even the people he thought were his friends. The entire Glee Club...they didn't care. Half of them hadn't even taken the time to know him. Kitty. Marley. Ryder. Jake. They literally had no idea who he was, they didn't miss him. Mr. Shue didn't care, and neither did Miss Pillsbury. If Mr. Shue cared, he would have tried to talk to Blaine, he would have made an effort. Blaine had always thought that Mr. Shue was kind, that he cared about the kids he taught. Wrong. Wasn't it Miss Pillsbury's job to help students in need? Well she was a failure. His father didn't even care. He never had, and never ever would. He tried calling Cooper. Always voicemail. His big-shot brother was too busy for him, just like always. Nobody cared, not a single, solitary person. Nobody cared how he felt, nobody bothered to ask him if he was okay. They all knew about what had happened before. They all knew that he'd been down this road before. But they ignored him. They ignored the sad eyes. The tired, too thin face. The dark half-moons under his eyes. The bruises his father gave him. They ignored everything. The people he thought cared about him...they didn't care. They didn't care...

And so here he was. Curled up or his bed, clutching his phone tightly. Wishing someone would call. Talk him out of what he was considering. He knew nobody would call though. He knew he was stupid for thinking it. Nobody would call, nobody was here to stop him. He could do it now. End it. It could all be over so quickly. He would make it right this time. He wouldn't fail again. And why shouldn't he save himself the pain? He had nothing. No friends, no family, no future. His future had always been Kurt. Whenever he was uncertain. Whenever he stressed about his grades or extracurriculars, if they were good enough to get him in NYADA. He always knew he would have Kurt. If he didn't get into college, he would have Kurt. If he didn't make it big on Broadway, he would have Kurt. Kurt would always be there for him, he had promised. But Kurt had lied, he wasn't there anymore. So he had nothing to live for, nothing to keep him anchored. It was pointless. Everything was pointless. Everything was endless pain. But he could end the pain. Right now if he wanted too. So he got out of bed, joints protesting at the sudden movement painfully. He walked slowly to the kitchen. He picked up a knife and collapsed to the floor, banging his head several times against the cabinets. Steadying his breathing, he gripped the knife tighter in one hand. Not yet though. He had one more thing to do. With his free hand, he dug his phone out of his pocket. He scrolled through his contacts. One more try. He called Kurt. Nothing. He didn't expect Kurt to pick up, he wasn't even sure why he'd tried. He tried one more call. Burt. He'd always been like a father to Blaine, a better father than his own. Blaine hadn't talked to him since the break-up though. He'd been too ashamed, too afraid of what Burt would say to him. But he had to say he was sorry to one more person. He had to let Burt know how sorry he was for hurting his son. And if he didn't pick up, Blaine would just leave a note...

* * *

Burt was sitting on the couch, watching a football game with Finn when his phone rang. Sighing, he dug the phone out of his pocket. Hopefully it wasn't another business call, he'd had far too many tonight. He brow furrowed as he checked the caller ID. It was Blaine. Why in the world was Blaine calling him so late?

"Be right back," Burt called over his shoulder to Finn, already making his way out to the covered back porch.

He answered the call.

"Blaine, you there? What's going on?"

"Oh...hey Burt. Didn't think you'd pick up. Thought you'd still be mad...well, you probably are. I just, um, wanted to tell you how sorry I was. For everything. For hurting Kurt especially. I don't think anyone really understands how horrible I feel about it...But I guess they're right. I guess I don't really deserve to be here anymore. I'm stupid, I'm just one huge mistake. So I guess I'm also calling to say...goodbye...,"

What shocked Burt the most was Blaine's voice. He sounded horrible, his voice was dry and cracked, and he had been crying recently...

"Blaine! Blaine, listen to me. Stay on the line, okay. What do you mean goodbye? Where are you right now?", Burt asked, trying to hide the panic in his voice.

"I'm in my kitchen. I've got the knife in my hand...I'm ready, really I am. Nobody cares...it's over for me. I don't have Kurt anymore. He won't answer my calls...I've tried so many fucking times. I'm nothing without him. I don't have friends either...they're all gone. They don't care. Nobody does..."

"Blaine, you are not worthless. You aren't nothing. People care about you, they really do. Please don't do this, okay? Drop the knife, please. I'm on my way to your house right now. We're going to make things right, okay?"

"No...no. It's over, really it is. Kurt will never forgive me...It pointless. All of this. It just hurts too much. I'm sorry...really sorry. Goodbye...", Blaine said, and with that, hung up.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed :)**

**Leave a review if you want to see more!**


	7. Chapter 7

**So here's another update. Hope you enjoy. Sorry if the dialogue seems at all out of character.**

**Also, this fic might contain some side Finchel, not really positive on that yet.**

* * *

Nearly a half an hour after the call, Burt finally allowed himself to collapse in the waiting room chair, drumming his fingers on his knee and letting out deep breaths and trying to keep himself steady. Finn was sitting next to him, fidgeting with his phone, still trying to get a hold of Kurt. They'd both been trying ever since getting into the car to race (blatantly ignoring the posted speed limits) to Blaine's house, the ambulance already on its way there. But Kurt wasn't answering. Finn blew out a deep breath, shutting his eyes.

"I'm gonna go call...Rachel. She'll probably know where Kurt is and why he's not answering...," he managed to get out before getting up and wandering back outside.

* * *

It was another lazy night of cuddling up and watching movies with popcorn for Rachel and Brody. They were in the middle of a marathon of their favorite Broadway classics, giggling as they mouthed the words to their favorite parts and lip-synched the words to all the songs. Santana was sprawled in the chair in the corner, throwing the two annoyed looks every once in a while before going back to being totally absorbed in her phone. Halfway through their third movie, Rachel's phone began ringing. Checking her caller ID, expecting it to be Kurt, she felt her mouth drop open when she realized it was Finn calling. Throwing a confused (and slightly worried) glance at Brody and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, she retreated to her room and answered.

"Um, hi Finn...What's up?" Rachel asked worriedly, Finn wouldn't be calling her if it wasn't important. He was the one that was mad at her, and even if she was in a relationship with Brody, she still cared about Finn and wanted things to be okay between them.

"Do you have any clue where Kurt is? Burt and I've been trying to get a hold of him for hours and he's not picking up...It's really important,"

"He's, uh, out with Adam...at a club or something. What's so important though? I know that you wouldn't be calling...me...if it wasn't important,"

She could hear Finn sigh on the other side of the line, and he was silent for a few seconds before speaking up, "It's just...Blaine. He called Burt about an hour ago in, like, hysterics. He, um, tried to kill himself tonight. We, uh, we think we got there in time, but we're still not sure if he's gonna pull through. Thought Kurt would wanna know,"

Rachel felt the beginnings of tears prickle behind her eyes. She couldn't believe that Blaine would do that. I mean, they all knew about his past, and about how rough things had been for him before, but he'd always seemed so...strong. None of them had know the broken Blaine, the drug addicted, alcoholic, self-harming Blaine. The only Blaine they knew was the sweet, caring boyfriend. The confident vocalist on the fast-track to an incredible career on Broadway. God, she'd had no idea he was taking all this so hard. If she'd known...maybe she would've helped. Sure, she was pissed at him for hurting Kurt, but if she'd known he'd been getting so bad as to try to kill himself, she would have tried to patch things over...

"Rachel? You still there?"

Finn's voice shook her out of her daze, "Oh, yeah. Still here. I'll, um, try and get a hold of him too, or else I'll tell him when he gets back...If anything happens, call me, please. I know your mad at me, but I still care about Blaine, even after all that's happened," Rachel replied, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Alright, I'll keep you posted. Call me back when you get a hold of Kurt. Bye,"

Rachel grabbed a box of tissues off her nightstand and made her way back to their living room, dabbing her eyes as she walked in. Brody gave her a surprised, questioning look, pausing the movie.

"Everything okay?"

"Not really. A friend of ours, Kurt's ex actually...he tried to kill himself tonight, and you know...nobody is sure if he'll be okay or not,"

Brody got up, pulling Rachel in a tight hug and leading her back to the couch, rubbing comforting circles in her back. Santana got up as well, moving to sit on the couch next to the two.

"I'm sure the hobbit will be fine, he always is," she said, giving Rachel a sad smile and wiping her own, slightly misty, eyes.

They sat there for a few minutes in silence, Brody's silence more than a little awkward, not knowing what to say to the two girls. Rachel couldn't help but remember all the times her and Mercedes had listened on as Kurt had gushed over Blaine when their relationship was nothing more than a dream. She remembered all the great times they'd had together with Kurt, going on double dates and hanging out at the Lima Bean. All the competitions, winning Nationals. Even Santana was thinking about him. The time she hid a tape recorder in her cleavage to prove Sebastian had nearly blinded him. The time him and Kurt had sang to her during the whole coming out fiasco. Sure, she'd insulted them after, but it really had helped. But the two of them kept going back to the day Blaine had revealed everything to them. The day he'd dredged up all the painful things from his past and been honest. They should have seen all this coming. They should have known that Blaine would go back to that dark place when Kurt broke up with him. They should have made sure he was okay.

Finally breaking the silence, Brody spoke up, "Does Kurt know yet?"

Rachel shook her head, "Nobody can get a hold of him. Finn and Burt having been trying since they found out."

Giving her an encouraging smile and pulling her closer, Brody put the movie back on play, "Santana's right, I'm sure everything will be fine."

* * *

A few more hours passed before the large sliding doors opened to raucous laughter that could only be Kurt and Adam. Kurt unfurled his scarf and shrugged off his coat, hanging both of them up near the door. Adam did the same, going into the kitchen to get some drinks while Kurt made his way to their makeshift living room. His eyes widened when he saw Rachel, Santana, and Brody curled up on the sofa, coffee table in front of them littered with used tissues, all with grim looks on their face. Rachel shot up and sped over to Kurt, eyes red and slightly puffy.

"Kurt! Where the hell have you been! We've been trying to call you for hours, and you weren't answering."

Kurt's smile faltered, "My phone was on vibrate...what's going on?", he questioned, swallowing past the rapidly forming lump in his throat.

"It's Blaine, Kurt. He...he, um...well he tried to kill himself tonight. Finn called me a few hours ago and told me, they've been trying to call you since they found out."

Kurt's heart sunk. Oh God. He collapsed in one of the chairs, eyes staring blank with shock. Hands trembling, he dug his phone out of his pocket. Missed calls from Finn and his dad. Scrolling down he noticed another. One missed call from Blaine from hours ago. Oh God, Blaine had tried to call him. He hadn't answered, hadn't even know.

"I-is he g-g-going to be alright," Kurt asked, dreading the answer.

"We don't know. Finn hasn't called back with any news...I, um, looked up plane tickets, I wasn't sure if you'd want to go...but there's a flight leaving in a few hours with tickets left if your interested."

Kurt could only manage a nod. Everything was crashing around him. Oh God. Please let this just be a dream, a terrible, horrible, awful dream...

* * *

**Don't know when the next update will be, depends on when I hit writer's block on my other stories :)**

**Next chapter will probably be everyone else finding out, like Sam, Tina, and Brittany.**

**Bye for now!**


End file.
